Posted on familybliss.nomthiodukoya.org
By Pastor Nomthi Odukoya
“And who is responsible for your pregnancy?” he quizzed with a serious look on his face.
“You” she stutters, not because she is not sure, but the audacity of his question rocked her. He knows he is her only boyfriend.
I am sure you can figure out the end of the story. The girl is left with two options: either have an abortion or raise a fatherless child by herself. God admonishes that sex should be within the confinement of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honorable by all and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge“ and 1Cor 6:18 says, “Flee sexual immorality”.
Let’s replay that same scenario in a marriage setting, and here is what you hear.
“Honey, we are pregnant”. She squeals
“I am going to be a Father?You are not working for now; I don’t want anything to happen to my daughter”, he exclaims excitedly while rubbing her stomach
“No, it’s a boy” she responds
“It’s a girl”, he insists as he places his ears to her stomach and the joy goes on…
The above reactions are not cast in stone, as situations vary. But the disparity in the two responses is common in the different scenarios. Our world is rapidly evolving in such a way that being a virgin is seen as an embarrassing social status, whilst being sexually active at a young age is being normalized.With television shows, such as MTV‘s ‘16 and pregnant’, seemingly celebrating the decisions of teenagers to engage in pre-marital sex, chastity is increasingly becoming a tough decision to uphold. But regardless of what the world accepts and approves of, the standard of God will not be compromised.
Chastity before marriage is the key.
How is it possible?
Is this the only way?? Yes. It is the only guaranteed guide against unwanted pregnancy. Don’t be deceived by condoms, both male and female condoms can break even if you both wear more than one. The Bible instructs against sex before marriage- 1 Thess 4:3-5 says “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honour, not in passion or lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”.
Guard your access. Not just access to your body, but access to your mind- don’t watch erotic movies or videos or read pornographic magazines and expect your mind to be pure.
Don’t stay alone in an enclosed place with the opposite sex. Let your boyfriend know when you need to go outside to be in the company of others. Don’t assume your strength against sexual desires.
Don’t use sex to sustain a relationship. If a man loves you, he will protect you even from himself. Sex does not keep a man neither does it guarantee a good home.
What are the possible consequences?
Complications during pregnancy like weak pelvic bones, obstetric fistula. The World Health Organisation (WHO) states that stillbirth and newborn death are 50% higher among infants born to adolescent mothers.
The mother might have to dropout from school and the possibility of giving the child a good life and education is lowered.
Shame and ridicule from family and friends.
Abortion if the man refuses paternity of the child.WHO estimates that 3million unsafe abortions occur globally every year amongst teens. Adolescent pregnancy is a major contributor to maternal and child mortality, and to the vicious cycle of ill-health and poverty.
Aside from the physical aspects of pre-marital sex, there is also the spiritual damage caused by it.Sex outside of marriage leads to an emotional imbalance, as every person you have sex with takes a piece of you and you also take a piece of them. Sex is a spiritual exchange;the Bible says “two will become one flesh” (Mark 10:8). It is not just an exchange of emotions or body fluids, it involves your spirit, that why some people are bonded with someone they have had sex with, and he seem to also have a reign over them.
If you are already pregnant, understand that you are not alone. It can be scary and lonely and you should talk to your parent, counsellor or Pastor. Don’t opt for an abortion; you have a human being developing within you (21days after conception, the child’s heart is already beating).You are valuable to God regardless of where you have been or what you have done. Make a decision to live for Him going forward and watch him decorate your life.