Welcome once again to this column. Last week, we began by looking at the concept of marriage. This week, we shall examine the keys to a lasting marriage. Let us examine some of these keys.
This key is very vital in marriage. You may not enjoy your marriage, if you and your spouse don’t know how to communicate effectively. It is like having gold in a garden, but not knowing how to dig it out. The gold is there, but as long as it is not dug out, you cannot be enriched by it.
The basis of any fruitful and lasting relationship is effective communication. God our Father and our Ultimate, proved this to us by communicating His plans and intentions to those whom He trusted. He spoke clearly to Moses, Samuel, and David, right through to Jesus, and beyond Him, to those of us who love and serve Him.
Marriage without effective communication never works. A wise man once said,” If you talk together, you stay together.” How true!
In times past, particularly in the African societies, women were regarded as mere objects and a part of a man’s possessions, and were not consulted on major issues, neither were their views regarded as important. In those days, women stayed married because they had no choice. But that has never been God’s arrangement. He made marriage as an avenue for both husband and wife to find fulfilment, which comes when there is effective communication.
It is important to understand the place of money in marriage to avoid tension. Ecclesiastes 7:12 says: For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence: but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it.
Money is simply a medium of exchange. It is required to live comfortably on the earth. It is a defence, because with it, you are not embarrassed.
However, handling finances is a very sensitive area for couples. It is, therefore, crucial to say a few things about family finances here.
Husbands: Right from the onset, when God blessed Adam with his wife Eve, he was made the head of the family. This charged him with the duty of providing for the house hold (1 Timothy 5:8). So, by God’s order, the husband is to provide for his family. He is the one who must ensure there is food for members of his family, that they are well taken care of, especially his immediate family members.
Wives: Everything the wife has belongs to her husband, even her income. If she is employed outside the home, she must submit all to him. This does not mean that she may not have her own separate account, if they both agree to this. But by divine order, this account also belongs to him.
The term “his” and “hers” is not allowed in the family finance. They both should have access to each other’s money. Where there‘s a joint account, no one should spend money without informing the other. As agreed by them, at an appointed time, they can both sit together to plan the family budget, mapping out how much should be spent on food, children and each other, as well as paying electricity bills, etc. It is refusing to work together as a team that places families under tension. Trust is the underlying factor in family finance.
This is the backbone of any successful relationship, marriage and family inclusive. It is the adhesive of every marriage. When commitment is lacking in the relationship between husband and wife, the chances of that home surviving is very slim.
Therefore, to enjoy family success, you must be committed both to the institution of marriage and to your spouse. God has joined you together, but you must be so committed, both to the institution and your spouse that nothing is allowed to put you asunder (Mark 10:9).
Commitment makes you choose the expedient above the lawful. It makes you forgo some things that you like or take pleasure in at times. Rights and privileges that are lawfully yours, may have to be forfeited in the interest of the family.
God’s Word says: Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14). Commitment, therefore, demands that you promote whatever it will take, for you to ensure that peace reigns perpetually in your marriage. Whatever shortcomings your spouse or other members of your household may have, commitment demands that you find a way to cope with them.
Your commitment to God is the gateway to your commitment to your spouse; you must therefore, first be committed to God. This entails surrendering your life to Christ by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you are set for this change, please say this prayer of faith: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Now I know I am born again!
Congratulations! Till I come your way again next week, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: email@example.com Tel. No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437, 07094254102
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches, and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, and Building A Successful Family.
– See more at: http://www.brimtime.com/2012/10/keys-to-lasting-marriage-by-pastor_14.html#sthash.Viv0rsZ3.dpuf