Posted by Pst Sophia Bola Okunowo
November 15, 2014 at 6:10am
We were so much in love. It was my first time of giving my heart to some one. He was my first love. I was his first love too. He had never had a girl friend before. Never proposed to anyone. Well, he had few crushes, so did I. You can now imagine 2 first time lovers. Yes, the temptations where there and strong too. We saw each other everyday. So what helped us? How come we never had pre-marital sex? Why did we not go through the heart ache of an unwanted pregnancy and of cause the resultant effect of abortion? Was it because we were so strong? Was it that we did not have people around us, even believers compromising? Couldn’t we have just tried it out? We had enough time and opportunities in almost 4 years to have sex, even if it was for 10minutes.
Thank God we did not! I am ever so grateful to God, for His mercies kept us. The truth of the matter is that we very much could have. We did not see the whole picture then, that we had a mandate to singles and married, but we knew God had an assignment for us. You also don’t have a full picture of what your future holds, one good reason you cannot afford to jeopardize your future. Joseph in the bible is our worthy example. We just wanted to follow and obey God. We wanted to put Him first above ourselves, above our feelings.
You too can have such testimonies. Testimony of God’s help and Mercy. Remember this help and mercy is very much available. The Bible tells us God is our very present help in times of trouble. His help is present for you in your relationship and marriage. You don’t have to continue in that ungodly relationship. You don’t have to be abused verbally, emotionally or sexually. Another abortion should not be your choice. You don’t have to live with that shame, guilt or regret any longer. If you are presently in any of above situations, there is healing, mercy and forgiveness for you in Jesus. All you need to do is accept him and embrace His love, forgiveness and mercy.
Here are a few things that helped us back then, and can also be of tremendous help to you.
1. We had God as the foundation of our relationship. We both sought his face and remember God will only pay for what he ordered for.
2. Our relationship was mentored. I do not mean monitored. We had a person (our pastor) we both agreed we can talk to or report ourselves to. I remember the first thing we did after I accepted his proposal was to go meet our pastor. He prayed for us and spoke into our future.
3. We made up our minds, we were doing it God’s way, no compromises.
4. We decided prayers will be our foundation and our most precious possession.
5. We were committed to Gods word on a daily basis.
6. We read books on relationships and listen to tapes.
7. We talked more about what we desire the future to be and what God has revealed to us.
8. We were sincere and truthful to each other.
9. We knew and decided from the onset to set boundaries on physical intimacy.
10. We did not give compromise space even if it was a little space. We were disciplined.
Discipline is very important. Little lowering of your guards will eventually lead to great compromise. Choose integrity. Let your standard be the same whether you are in church or not. In Nigeria or in America.
I use to tell people, ‘It doesn’t matter + it doesn’t matter = it matters’.
When you excuse certain standards or explain things away, you are giving room gradually for huge compromises, because nothing just happens. Before premarital sex happens there would have being little and gradual compromises here and there. Lustful thoughts here and there you did not care to give attention to. Remember, it’s the little foxes that spoil the vine.
It’s time to start giving attention to those little things that seem not to matter. Remember, ‘it doesn’t matter + it doesn’t matter = it matters’.
God bless you.
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