Source: One + The One blog
Conversations with One: Red Flags Part 1
Posted: 05 Feb 2015 11:10 AM PST
Sometimes, we hear people who develop problems in marriage say that “I should have known or watched out for the signs that this man/woman was no good/bad news/cheat/stingy” etc
So today with you beautiful people and the 1 + The One panel, we discuss Red Flags to look out for in a relationship.
It’s going to be a 2-part series as we look at it from a female perspective this week and then a male perspective next week by God’s grace.
What do you think are warning signs that ladies should possibly look out for in a guy while dating/courting? Some are pretty obvious but sometimes it is important to spell it out..
Before we proceed, please remember that the most important and effective way to know the character of another human being is through what I like to refer to as ‘Spiritual Expo’ aka Spiritual revelation or enlightenment through prayers – Yes, that’s right, you can’t take the place of the Holy Spirit opening your eyes to see things as they really are. What’s more, not only things in the present can be revealed, but things in the future as well – He is the Beginning and the End after all 🙂
Some people ask “but how does it happen?!” Well, first of all, pray sincerely and it will surprise you how God begins to allow you see the true character of an individual – It’s usually not set in stone how it happens but it could be in diverse ways.. However, you could certainly start by praying and asking Your Father in heaven to reveal the ‘secret’ things (good or bad) to you.
Right, ladies and gentlemen, it’s important to shine your eyes because some people may see the red flags but choose to look the other way. The danger here is that in the long run, you wouldn’t be able to ignore them and it could cause a LOT of hurt and heart-break that could have been prevented.
Alrighty, enough intro, let’s dive right in!!
Ms Hope: He should never as much as lift a palm not to talk of laying them on her cheeks in slaps.
He has to address you, his mum/family, your family and even his friends courteously. I mean, we don’t want to end up with a grumpy, high pitched guy.
He should never talk you down. One’s spouse should be one’s biggest cheerleader.
One: Very important. If he shuts you up, belittles you or makes you feel ‘small’ when he talks to you or by his actions, please check it!
Mr NumeroUno: Red Flags.
1. ‘Unholy’ touching. If he wants sex before marriage.
2. If he loves her, it has to be expressed in his giving, his patience and tolerance, his undivided loyalty and attention. His telephone credit, etc. If he lacks in any of these areas. If he loves you he will be willing to learn, adjust, step up.
3. If he cannot introduce you to his family and friends. Check it.
4. If he is not accountable to anyone. Run!
5. If he is highly secretive and lacks transparency.
QED.. “If he loves you, he will be willing to learn, adjust, step up”- MR NumeroUno
One: I am glad this is coming from a guy! Check check check these red flags. Don’t sabotage your future for someone who treats you less than your deserve to be treated.. There is room for compromise but there are some deal-breakers that should make you check and check again!
Ms PYT: My 2cents:
* Flee from stingy guys! Some guys are naturally stingy and shy away from little duties. This is a serious matter because, I have had to ask some married friends if they never saw the stingy traits in their husbands before they got married. By their fruits you shall know them.
There was this particular guy that was stingy and also had long throat. How can a man allow you pay for a drink for yourself and him while visiting him. He does not know how to buy a box of chocolate or even Agege bread when visiting his girlfriend in school. By the way, he had a good job.
* Don’t stick around a man that is lazy or one who can’t make sacrifices for you.
* A man that can slap another woman will slap his wife one day.
Give this 100 red flags please!
One: Yes, I agree. Watch out for the way he treats other people. That’s a strong indication of how he would possibly treat you too.. Remember, he’s trying to impress you at the moment so he might treat you like a Queen, however watch how he treats his family members, his friends, colleagues and even his subordinates.
Ms PYT: * Flee from a man who wouldn’t show you affection or who thinks women are just for domestic reasons.
My friend was in a relationship with a guy who believed that carrying the shopping bag for his girl while she carried nothing was unacceptable. He also believed that she needed to give him special respect because he was older than her. He also believed that it was her responsibility to cook, wash and clean for him. That’s enough red flag to run for your life.
Lol.. This got me laughing.. Escape from the friend-zone – broaden your horizon! 🙂
One: Hmmm… Some people don’t mind that.. 😀
Do YOU mind?
Tell us… What other red flags do you think a lady should watch out for while dating/courting or even during friendship?
PS, Don’t forget part 2 comes up next week where we discuss from a male perspective! xxxx
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