Women on the Cutting Edge…… SESSION 2 (MARRIED TO A FOOL)

Today’s woman is ABIGAIL, the very beautiful, wise and godly woman. 

She’s literally a ten. But the sad truth is that she married a foolish man 😦


Her husband was called “Nabal” which means “fool” Nabal was not only a fool by name, he was a fool by nature. Plus, he was a drunkard

It’s so easy to wonder why a woman of very rare characteristics — beauty, wisdom and godliness, a woman who had it all together, would settle for a fool as a husband. Didn’t she realize this before making a lifetime commitment with him, or did she just turn a blind eye at what she saw? Many, many questions are just going through my mind and I know it’s the same for you.
A) The bible says that Nabal was a wealthy man. So it’s okay to think that she might have married him because of his wealth… Maybe she thought… “I want to live an affluent lifestyle… I need a man who would settle all my physical needs”
B) It could be that she thought like most women of today, I will change him when we get married 😀

 But the truth is, you can’t turn a cat into a lion, no matter the effort you expend. A cat will always remain a cat.. In the same vein, a fool will always remain a fool. The work of transformation can only be done through divine intervention 

If he didn’t change to get you to marry him, he wouldn’t change after marriage. He might even grow worse.

C) Who knows? Her marriage with Nabal, might have been out of pressure….. “My biological clock is ticking, so I don’t give a hoot about the man that proposes. Tall or short, godly or ungodly, sane or insane. I must marry before 35”

It might have been the pressure from her parents that pushed her into this unfortunate union..

Never marry out of pressure from anywhere or anybody. Because in the long run, you will be the one bearing the ache of that unfortunate union. 
In order to be a woman on the cutting edge, you must marry right. Because the wrong marriage has the capacity to hinder your growth process. Learn to look beyond the physical in a potential partner. The physical matters but the spiritual is utmost. 

Abigail was unequally yoked with Nabal. The bible described her as a wise woman but she married a foolish man. You see the contrast?

When God brought the animals to Adam for him to select a suitable helper, the bible said he found no suitable or appropriate helper in those animals, because he knew there was something deeper than that… There was something he was looking for that he didn’t find in those animals. And when he saw the one that looked like him, that spoke like him, that shared a similar vision as him, someone who mirrored his life goals, he shouted, “This one is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”

Abigail submitted her beautiful crown to a foolish man; she submitted her authority to a man that couldn’t discern her worth. 

When we as women get married, our crown, which signifies our authority is submitted under our husbands authority. They become our head. Therefore, it’s crucial that we guard our crown jealously. Be patient before releasing your authority, so you don’t release it to a fool.


It’s better to be single believing God to be married, than to be married believing God to be single.

Marriage is the second most important decision you will ever make in your life, after the decision to be born again
Like I said earlier on, your life partner can either make you or break you. In fact, they can cause you to lose your salvation and eventually end up in eternal damnation (hell) It’s as crucial as that. Caution must be taken before entering this phase of life
The story of Jacob and his two wives explains this appropriately.

God gave Jacob an instruction.

Then the Lord said to Jacob, “Return to the land of your father and grandfather and to your relatives there, and I will be with you.”

And in order to do this, he had to narrate this to his wives. And when he did, they said 

14 Rachel and Leah responded, “That’s fine with us! We won’t inherit any of our father’s wealth anyway.

So assuming, they disagreed, he wouldn’t have been able to obey God’s instruction. Because he must carry his family along. And I am sure you know the repercussions of disobeying God… He would have lost is destiny totally. Because for God to fulfill the promises he made to Abraham, Jacob must leave that land.
What about King Jehoram, the son of King Jehospahat, the man that loved God?The bible noted that he did what was evil because he had married one of Ahab’s daughters, even though he was groomed in a god fearing home.
In a nutshell, who you marry matters…

When they say before you go into any relationship.. Whether dating, courtship or even in a business relationship, ask God for guidance. It’s not said to fulfill all righteousness or a religious conscience, but because God, who is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, knows the end of that person. He sees what you cannot see. God sees beyond the present, but your sight is just limited to the present. 

So when you ask him for guidance, he tells you what you don’t know and shows you what you can’t see in your human state. 

Prov 3:6
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path..

I remember this movie that I watched titled “The Pastor’s Wife” I was literally watching a real life story on my screen. 

On the outside, this pastor would praise his wife, give her kisses, and literally display everything close to perfection in marriage. But on the inside, his wife was dying. He would beat her anytime she tried to air her opinion. He would sexually abuse her and all sorts of assault. Even the children didn’t know all these were going on in their home. So the woman begged him for a divorce, but he threatened her with a gun. Until one day she mistakenly shot him with that same gun… 

In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Matt 23:28

It’s so amazing to think that a pastor could do this to his wife. This is supposed to be a pastor for goodness sake.. It is a testament to the fact that you need the help of God in choosing whom to marry..

One way that God directs his children is by speaking peace to their hearts. When you realize that as a child of God, there’s this great peace towards that person, it is a validation that he’s the right person.

Let me hear what God the LORD will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints; but let them not turn back to folly.
Psalm 85:8

Note: Getting married to a pastor is no guarantee for a glorious home. Caution is the keyword

King David was about to kill Nabal for insulting and paying him with evil for the good he did. (You might wanna read the story to understand better in 1 Samuel 25) So when Abigail heard about what Nabal, her husband, did to King David, she ran to meet King David with food and drink, to intercede for her husband. . Abigail demonstrated a good heart here.. Even though her husband was a fool, was nothing to write home about, she still interceded for him. She never one day insulted him or looked down on her head, but gave him that honour even though he was a fool

The second thing I learnt from Abigail was that she knew how to appease anger with soft words (a woman with tact) King David was burning with anger, but when Abigail met him, she bowed down before him and she praised him so profoundly, and he became at peace. 

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. 
Proverbs 15:1

Not only that, permit me to call her a prophet, because she made this prayer to King David 

The Lord will surely reward you with a lasting dynasty,

And in the next chapter or so, God told David that he would give him a lasting dynasty. 

Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? 17 And now, O God, in addition to everything else, you speak of giving your servant a lasting dynasty! You speak as though I were someone very great,[b] O Lord God!


23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed low before him. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “I accept all blame in this matter, my lord. Please listen to what I have to say. 25 I know Nabal is a wicked and ill-tempered man; please don’t pay any attention to him. He is a fool, just as his name suggests.[d] But I never even saw the young men you sent.
26 “Now, my lord, as surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, since the Lord has kept you from murdering and taking vengeance into your own hands, let all your enemies and those who try to harm you be as cursed as Nabal is. 27 And here is a present that I, your servant, have brought to you and your young men. 28 Please forgive me if I have offended you in any way. The Lord will surely reward you with a lasting dynasty, for you are fighting the Lord’s battles. And you have not done wrong throughout your entire life.
29 “Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in his treasure pouch! But the lives of your enemies will disappear like stones shot from a sling! 30 When the Lord has done all he promised and has made you leader of Israel, 31 don’t let this be a blemish on your record. Then your conscience won’t have to bear the staggering burden of needless bloodshed and vengeance. And when the Lord has done these great things for you, please remember me, your servant!”

32 David replied to Abigail, “Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to meet me today! 33 Thank God for your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and from carrying out vengeance with my own hands. 34 For I swear by the Lord, the God of Israel, who has kept me from hurting you, that if you had not hurried out to meet me, not one of Nabal’s men would still be alive tomorrow morning.” 35 Then David accepted her present and told her, “Return home in peace. I have heard what you said. We will not kill your husband.”

Mehn! This woman was full package, but she was with a man that didn’t realize her worth.
The next day, God struck Nabal dead because he had spoken against King David, the man after his heart. And the bible tells us that David asked for Abigail’s hand in marriage.. David knew what this woman carried. He saw her as an asset. So he quickly proposed to her and she said yes. She had seen her match.. A King!!!!

Be patient before releasing your crown!!! As a virtuous woman, you cannot marry everybody, because not every man is for you.

Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you
Matt 7:6

I pray that you do not end with a Nabal (a fool) in Jesus Name. Amen!

Till soon,



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